Have You Ever....

Have you ever sat in bed late at night, unable to sleep, thoughts racing through your head?

Have you ever, in one moment, had every emotion kept in check come rushing at you hard, fast, and unstoppable? – Not the nice hard and fast-

Have you ever cried into your pillows for no reason, until the tears stop coming but the sobs continue silently?

Have you ever looked back on your life and wonder how the hell you ended up where you are?

 

Maybe you have. Maybe not. 

 

But I have. Tonight. Right now.

 

I just have to get it out, because honestly I have NO ONE else I can talk to about it. To those around, I’m either the shy girl with her inner slut lurking in the shadows, or the funny girl that always uses herself as the punch line.

I don’t know exactly how I got to where I am now. Stressed, lonely, overweight, and trying to be a good girl – and I mean good girl in the sense of making good choices, not my skills with a delicious cock…. I digress…

I am trying. I really am. I started a new job, and it’s stressing me out of my mind. It’s a sales job handling inbound calls. I figured that with the number of times I’d sold myself, a sales job would be easy as pie, yes? No. I feel invisible at work. It’s hard for me to go from a female dominated workplace to a man’s world. In my personal life, I’ve been used to being the object of attention in the bedroom, and generally overlooked elsewhere. But to be totally unknown to most people that I see on a daily basis. No… it’s not Ok.

My sex life has remained relatively undisturbed during this whole transition process. I have my one cock – stories coming shortly – and I wouldn’t trade him for anything else in the world. But that’s all he’ll ever be. He doesn’t want more with me, and I would never ask it of him. Sometimes I wish we could even be friends, but I will take what I can get. And I am more than happy to take his big, beautiful dick up my wet, wanting…. Oops.., Moving on…..

I want to be happy. Not just act happy, but BE happy. I want to be successful in a business, and not a business that has me laying on my back. I am making changes in my life, so that one day, I can hear a guy call me beautiful, accept it, and believe that it’s not just because he wants to sleep with me. 

Tonight? I’m a wreck, with no one to talk to. Tomorrow? I will wake up, take a deep breath, tell no one about what I went through tonight, and move on. You won’t have to hear more complaining from Miss Red over here.

 

Good night, my friends, and I hope your week goes better than my own.